Sunday, May 3, 2009

Please read all instructions before attempting to operate machinery

I'm not even ashamed to admit that I signed up for eHarmony a few days ago. After I met with my doctor she gave me some practical advice on a few areas of my life that I might want to pay attention to. One of those areas was companionship. Maybe most of you that know me wouldn't think that I *need* a companion and, well mostly I would agree with you. I mostly am comfortable with my own company and often I don't feel the need for someone to entertain me. She said it didn't necessarily have to be a romantic relationship and that I didn't necessarily have to find companionship in a person. Meaning, a pet of some sort. I've been thinking on it for a few days and I think I just might agree with her.

There is something about having a living, breathing, person (or sometimes a pet) by your side when you are trying to shoulder life's burdens. It may not mean there are many words spoken or a portion of your burden is being carried by another. There is just something about having that support.

And for those of us who have a faith and belief in God, this need can sometimes be confusing. I've been told things like, "Jesus is closer than a brother." and that God will "never leave you or forsake you." And I believe those things with my whole heart, honestly, I do. But what about those nights when the sun has set on your emotions and things are looking bleak? When it would mean the world just to have someone to just hold your hand? These are the times when I struggle with my faith in God. Not because I cease to believe in His exhistence, but because sometimes I just need God to have some skin on. If there isn't a person who plays that role in my life, I need that role to be filled by God. But He already came to earth and dwelt among us once... and well, we weren't very nice.

So the lonelyness sometimes takes up residence. When it would come knocking on my door, I typically found myself swinging the door wide open and inviting that lonelyness to stay for a while and maybe have a cup of tea.

Oh but yesterday... I decided instead of welcoming and unwelcomed visitor that I would be pro-active and take a step. This is where eHarmony came in. I found plenty of reasons why not to sign up but none of those reasons stuck.

And I took a really long questionnaire with lots of questions that made me think very honestly about my real self... And yes, one of the by-products of going through all of this trouble is the possibility of finding some type of match for my personality. If it happens, that'll be nice. If it doesn't, I know I did my part and the rest is up to God.

But the BEST part about all of this... oh I love this stuff SO much... I got a 5 page personality report! Here it is, it's a little bit long so read it if you dare! I totally love this stuff. I eat it up like... well, like something really delicious...

A General Description of How You Interact with Others (Agreeableness)

"What can I do for you?" These words probably feel very natural to you. More than most people, you are genuinely interested in the well-being of others. If they are in trouble, you offer compassion and go out of your way to be helpful. If they need someone who will listen, you are attentive, trustworthy and sympathetic. And you are direct with them; when they need advice or counsel, you offer it in as straightforward and direct a manner as you can.

There may even be times when you put others' needs in front of your own. And you do so without the expectation of some reward or recognition. Yours is a different kind of compassion; you are genuinely tenderhearted and take pleasure in helping others while expecting little or nothing in return. For you, it's not tit-for-tat, you truly want to do things for others that will better their lives. You mean it when you ask, "What can I do for you?"

A General Description of How You Interact with Others

Lucky you! You enjoy your own company as much as you enjoy the company of others. You are a great conversationalist and thrive in the wonderful kinds of connections you know how to have with your family and friends. You also equally enjoy your own company, whether sitting in a favorite chair with your book and soft music playing or meandering in the woods by yourself. You like coming home to your family or your roommate; but if no one is home, you find quiet, solitary time to be just as pleasurable. What a great combination to enjoy being outgoing and to be just as comfortable being reserved. Lucky you!!

Because you are so amiable and relaxed, you are comfortable with almost any group of family or friends. Whether they are pumped up and lively or calm and subdued, you remain at ease. If someone needs to take over the conversation, you are comfortable taking the lead; you can also lay back and let someone else be in charge. If the conversation gets rowdy, your moderate demeanor will often draw it down to a more temperate level. If someone in the group loses their cool, you will most likely maintain your poise, and if they get nasty you know how to keep a civil tongue.

You may find yourself out of balance on occasion. If you're alone too much, you may need to get in touch with someone. If you spend too much time with your family and friends, you may need to sneak off for a day by yourself, to putter and read and clear your head of the noise of too much conversation. When you're at your best, you live with a rhythm of time with others, time alone, time with others, time alone It's a satisfying, comfortable balance. Lucky you!

A General Description of How You Approach New Information and Experiences (Openness)

You think like an artist. Or better, you SEE like an artist. While most people look at life's straight lines, its height and depth and width, you're bending the lines with your imagination and turning black and white into shades of blue and yellow. And in conversations at work or with your friends you want to ask, "Do you see what I see?" A few might, most don't, but you've piqued everyone's curiosity with your own original and inventive ways of thinking.

You can, if you must, think in conventional ways. But left on your own, you'll usually opt for the eccentric or avant-garde; in fact you're usually bored with what everyone else is comfortable with. You learn from reading, talking, watching people and other fauna and flora, and simply sitting in the soft chair of your mind and wondering how people would learn how to count if they could only use uneven numbers. You are out in front of conventional ideas, bravely originally defining true and false, right and wrong, the good, the bad and the ugly.

A General Description of Your Reactivity (Emotional Stability)

In some ways, you've got the best of emotional worlds. When emotions rise up from inside you or are brought forth from a conversation by a friend, you know how to engage them. You deal with sadness, fear, joy, anger - whatever comes up - in ways that are perceptive and flexible. You can adapt to whatever level of emotion is appropriate to the moment. At other times, you are able to cope with your emotions in a more reserved manner. Because you are aware of what does and does not make emotional sense in a particular situation, you will decide when it is an appropriate time to express your emotions and when it would be best to keep them to yourself.

All of this gives you a rich emotional life. You are free to express your passions about certain subjects with appropriate people. But you are also emotionally adaptable; if the conversation needs to be more cerebral, you'll keep it "in your head" and talk calmly through whatever issue is on the table. This emotional awareness serves you well. You seldom get in over your head, either by opening up to the wrong person or by triggering in someone else's emotions they may not be able to deal with.

And last but not least...

A General Description of How You Interact with Others (Conscientiousness)

When there's a job to be done, like most people you want to know what the goal is and when it's to be completed. For you, that's a start. Next you want to know what the plan is to get to the goal. So you lay out a plan, or at least the major points of a plan: "Organize the kitchen sometime this spring" or "Get the project at work done as soon as possible." You don't need an in-depth specification of every little detail; in fact you prefer not to work that way. You lay out your goals, develop a general plan, and then you get things done.

You believe in intuition as well as organization. As such, you trust impulses as much as strategies and you value spontaneity as much as you do efficiency. In a word, you like to keep it flexible. When you set out to accomplish a task, you prefer to have some room to maneuver. Like an artist, you find that the best way to reach a goal is not always in a straight line. Some of the most productive times for you are the unplanned moments of inspiration and creativity that just come to you. While you do keep to a general plan, those times of pure vision and originality are what really drive you.

Some of the people who rely completely on an organized approach to getting things done may be surprised at your efficiency. But there is a definite method to your approach. With a creative flair that others may not have anticipated, the original plan gets met and there are often a few extra

accomplishments along the way. Your comfort zone starts with a task and a plan but it also requires the freedom to be able to go with your instincts and impulses so that you can not just accomplish the task, you also have the option to explore something brand new along the way.


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