(untitled)

and i just can't seem to rectify
in my mind
what i did that was so wrong

my arms wrapped around you
and i buried
my face into your neck

i love you

but you didn't say it back
your silence
like venom in my heart

and it paralyzed me

for 33 years you have been sitting
unable to move
freely your limbs, freely your heart

i can't be mad at you for
the state you're in
it's apathy and it's consumed you

but what happened? you just stopped trying. at some point it didn't matter anymore. you accepted the cards dealt you. why didn't you fight for me? why didn't you fight for us?

i can't be mad at you.

but i am mad at you.

i needed you. we needed you. i still need you. you just stopped fighting and drank it all away. you washed it all down with a venom that paralyzed you.

i'm sitting here in this chair, my emotions paralyzed. hot tears, cold feet.

i feel regret. things left unsaid. words spoken harshly.

but the difference between you and i, the difference is that i am fighting. fighting for my life and yours.

i am fighting for the one
that will bury their head
in my neck and tell me
they love me

i was given as a gift to you but i just don't know that you saw it that way.